By now, you’re likely a month into accomplishing your 2018 resolutions, and then there’s me: incredibly indecisive, toying with lots of thoughts and ideas… not sure what to focus on or where to begin. If we’re being completely honest, I’ve put off the whole “New Year’s resolution” idea since the holidays. It’s no secret, 2017 was a doozie. And frankly, committing to something big and bold for 2018 scares me. But thankfully, things already seem brighter this year than last, giving me a renewed sense of energy and positivity for the year ahead.
If you follow my Insta stories, you may remember my quality over quantity commentary a few weeks back. It’s been an ever-present theme in my life for months now, manifesting in many ways and opening my eyes to where I put my effort, time and energy.
It’s easy to associate this concept with the tangible things you surround yourself with: clothing, household items, etc. For me, this all started that way. I realized our home was overflowing with stuff, much of which we really don’t need or even use. Our closets were closing in on us. Our garage was filling up with bins upon bins for storage. And two sets of affordable (read: cheap) lamps I bought when we moved into our house were starting to fall apart.
Begging the question: Do I really need all of this stuff in my life?
After sifting through and donating everything that quite literally was weighing us down, it became clear to me that the concept of quality over quantity translated into much more than just the tangible stuff. Some larger, more impactful life influences fell under that category, too. Most notably: my relationships.
It’s true that there are moments in life when you realize who loves you unconditionally: milestones, heartbreak, challenges, sacrifices, moments of success, moments of sadness. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the loss of a home. A big promotion, a big leap of faith, the birth of a child. The joys of marriage and motherhood and much of the in-between. Whether you’re celebrating a special season or sharing a sorrow, you quickly learn who will always be there for you.
And in 2017, both myself and others close to me experienced a lot of the above.
From your partner and your children to your family, friends, coworkers and community, forging meaningful, quality relationships is hardly a simple task. Some relationships are meant to be fleeting, special to a certain season of life. Others are meant to be surface-level.
In a time when social media tries to tell us who our friends are, when it seems normal to judge a relationship by a like or a comment, when we constantly compare ourselves to others, when we let people take advantage of us and let ourselves feel inadequate or anxious or sad or burdensome or not good enough, it’s time to shed the weight.
To me, the relationships that hold the most meaning are reciprocal, nurturing, loving, respectful, kind and compassionate. They take effort but feel easy. They know how you take your coffee, know what to say (and what not to say) when you’re sad, are the soft ground for you to land on, are the nudge when you need some encouragement, are the voice of reason, never hold grudges, never judge, love your family like their own, show up with wine, call just because, share their heart, let you share yours… you can fill in the rest.
So what now?
I still have a lot of stuff to sift through. Some will be easy to throw away and some will be a bit harder to part with. But getting rid of the heavy clutter is sure to leave me feeling lighter, and I’m excited for what that will feel like.
Because the secret to having it all is knowing you already do.
What resolutions have you set for 2018? As always, I’d love to hear from you! xo