Finding Your Love Language

Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to communication. Whether at work, home, with friends or family, coworkers or the people you interact with throughout your day, communication is such an integral part of who we are as human beings. Sure, it’s how we know how others are feeling, what others are thinking, what they want, what they need and how we voice our own desires, needs and emotions. But a big part of communication is learning how you communicate in the first place.

Let me just get straight to the point here…

I know that my husband and I communicate differently. He’s a guy, for one, and rarely gets emotional. He’s a pretty cool, calm and collected type of guy. I, on the other hand, am usually a hot mess of emotions. It’s a balance. And discovering how we both communicate is part of our balance, our marriage.

So that’s when The 5 Love Languages come in.


Words of affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people.
Acts of service – For these people, actions speak louder than words.
Receiving gifts – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
Quality time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
Physical touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

I took the online love language test (front and center here) based on 30 questions and my scores were pretty interesting. While at first I thought it was a little gimmicky, I think it’s actually pretty spot on. Based on the test, words of affirmation is my love language followed by receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch and quality time.

The site says the following about interpreting your score:

The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). It’s not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you.

The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect you very much on an emotional level.

Words of affirmation is both something I give to show appreciation, love and support to my husband but also something that I need regularly in return as his partner. I haven’t read the book yet but I’m putting it on my list of must reads this spring. I’m curious to discover more about the way we communicate in our marriage.

Have you read it? What’s your love language?

  • Jamie

    You should definitely read the book. It’s a quick read and makes a lot of sense. I’m gifts, with quality time a close second.

    • Can’t wait to read it. You’re the one who introduced me to the love languages in the first place! xo

  • Whitney H

    I just took the test and “words of affirmation” is my love language as well. I totally predicted it. I’m definitely going to have Nick take it now!

    • Let us know how you match up! This definitely helps explain so much in marriage. ;)